The Peculiar Saga of Abe Tater Above is an 1864 photograph of a heart-shaped potato. This, the only known image of the mysterious potato, was taken by an unknown studio assistant of the famous photographer Mathew Brady. The glass plate negative of this obscure potato portrait rests in a locked drawer in an unmarked and secure room in the Library of Congress. Undoubtedly there will be those who declare this image to be fake. It is not. It is the real thing. It has been whispered that in addition to being "heart-shaped", the potato seemed to emit a rhythmic sound: lub dub lub dub much like a human heart. Unfortunately, neither video nor motion picture had yet been invented to capture the pulsing motion of the heart-shaped spud as it beat like a human heart. Thomas Edison, an unknown teenager at the time, might have captured the sound and motion of this unique potato if he could have also time-travelled with the appropriate instruments. Time-travel has yet to be...